Sacred Self Love Is Not a Luxury

What I had to live through before I could write this

I've needed a long time to write this blog, because first I needed to actually experience what sacred self love really means to me.

The call to found this Mystery School of Sacred Self Love came almost 5 years ago, and I felt it immediately: this is right. But then I asked myself what that actually means in practical form. What is the intention, what am I going to do, and that, I first had to live through here in Bali.

What I found is how essential it is, for my health and my body, to be in alignment with my soul frequency. It is not a luxury, not a nice-to-have. That is, unconsciously, what I still somewhat treated it as. No, the unconscious denying of my true self created tension in my body, and that tension caused fatigue, and in my view it is also connected to the hairy cell leukemia I had. (More on this later.)

And if I'm honest, I have also been in a fight with myself over this. First unconsciously, and later more and more consciously aware of what was happening. I found myself strange too, too sensitive. What is this about starseeds, here she comes again with something else, something crazy. And on the other hand, pushing back hard against what's "normal," just act normal, because that's already crazy enough.

What I've learned in this is to see that these are all different parts within myself. Parts that want to protect, or that are in pain, and that from survival, wanted to transform. What has truly helped me is meeting these parts and giving them what they need, so that step by step I dared, and dare, to surrender to myself. To meet myself, and not to deny my true self, or try to let go of my personality, as is practiced in many spiritual paths.

No, to meet myself in who I truly am, and to learn how my personality can align with my true self, so that the two of us come into alignment together. And to learn to feel what my body wants to tell me.

So that there is unity, and more and more, I come home to myself. And I shape my life from this alignment and this trust, not from pushing away or pushing down the parts that hold pain. Which brings so much more rest.